Friday, January 30, 2009

Great year a comin'

I think that this year will be extraordinary for several reasons. I can't even begin to express how overjoyed I get when I even begin to think about how awesome this year really will be! I shall break it down and explain why this year, 2009, is the year God is making up the two-three crappy years I've had previously. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo grateful.

Reason A:
I have a job. Good thing Dave's shop gets dusty everyday, along with having loads of receipts to sort and enter in the computer. Can anyone say job security? Thank goodness I can.

Reason B:
I am going to be a senior this year. Scary thought, but that's just life and I need to accept the fact that next year on July 24th, I will be an adult. Legally.

Reason C:
I am actually trying to do more things in the community; service, leadership, etc. I just want to apply myself on a more outward level and not be so worried on myself. Knowing that service really does help others and actually helps you forget your own problems, I know that I can enrich myself by doing things that benefit others. Seminary and my mom have taught me that first hand.

Reason D:
I will be driving more, hopefully, and that means I will have my license this year too. Mom, get ready for a jump in insurance!

Reason E:
This December, we're trying to take a family vacation out to Utah for a Christmas extravaganza with my extended family. You may think UT isn't too exciting, but man, I'm thrilled. I haven't been back there since 2003 and I really do miss my extended family very, very much.

Now, here are the 2 biggest reasons as to why I think this year will be wonderful. Can I get a drum roll, please? Thank you very, very much.

Biggest Reason 1:
I'm going to freakin' Europe. EUROPE! EURRRRRRROPE! It's just now hitting me that I'm going (maybe that's because we went thrifting yesterday for our throw away clothes once we're done wearing them.) Mom, Dave said I should get that half shirt and wear it to work--should I be concerned?

Biggest Reason 2:
I'm going to the NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Kansas Speedway this October. Although my first year of tasting the sweet odor of race cars in the Sprint Cup series was last year, I am fortunate to have the opportunity to go again this year, with my best friend. For those of you who don't know the difference between the multiple series of NASCAR (yes, there are multiple series; Trucks, Nationwide, and Sprint.) Trucks are like a sucky high school team, Nationwide is the NCAA football, and Sprint is like the NFL of car racing. There ya go.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Orange juice

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about missionary work. Unfortunately, being somewhat timid about giving my testimony and beliefs to my friends can get in the way a big portion of the time. I'm always concerned about them thinking I'm in some crazy cult or something, or that I'm wasting my time. I know I shouldn't be worried about that, but, sometimes I can't help it. I've been made fun of so many times for being Mormon that I'm starting to not even answer questions people ask me (mainly because they're making fun of me while doing it. How many moms do you have, Aubrey? Where is your gold bible? Do you worship that Joe Smith dude?)

Expressing my feelings to my parents, my mom told me a great analogy that she had heard in a church talk given by Elder Oaks in 2000.

"Consider that you are invited to a friend’s house for breakfast. On the table you see a large pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice from which your host fills his glass. But he offers you none. Finally you ask, ‘Could I have a glass of orange juice?’

He replies, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I was afraid you might not like orange juice, and I didn’t want to offend you by offering you something you didn’t desire.’

“Now, that sounds absurd, but it is not too different from the way we hesitate to offer up something far sweeter than orange juice. I have often worried how I would answer some friend about my hesitancy when I meet him beyond the veil.” (Ensign, Nov. 2000, 81–82).

It made so much sense. If I feel like I should tell my friends about what I believe in, or ask them if they'd like to come to an activity at church, then by golly I should do it! After all, I'm not them, so holding back is really just making the decision for them. I need to work on this aspect of my life, definitely.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Batman Acts 1/11-1/17

Like I mentioned previously, I am going to write down my fears that I've slowly, but surely, started to overcome. This week was a bit redundant and much of the same thing was repeated; school, work, driving, etc.

Monday, January 12th:
My first day of work! :)
I'm officially the "Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday Girl" for David Tallant ( at his amazing hot rod shop. I also drove to and from work without any problems.

Wednesday, January 15th:
My teacher who made the Renaissance Committee for my school said that I am guaranteed a position on the committee since she's the one who made it, whoo hoo.

Friday, January 16th:
I was given an invitation to attend an NHS meeting next week (at 6:50am!) I really hope I'm able to get into it this year, considering last year I did half of the activities I'm doing now (even though I barely do much of anything nowadays anyway.) Wish me luck :)

Monday, January 12, 2009

1 Month...

It's been a month since Megan left. It's kind of hard to wrap my mind around the fact that it has only been a month--this month has felt like an eternity. I guess that sadness mixed together with stress equals a potion of endlessness.

I'm so glad that I know for a FACT she's doing well.
Gotta love Priesthood blessings, scriptures, prayers, and the HG :)
I know I surely do!

I found this online, and I felt like I would share it. I'm only putting a tidbit of Elder Russel M. Nelson's talk from May 2005.

"Death is a necessary component of our eternal existence. No one knows when it will come, but it is essential to God’s great plan of happiness. Thanks to the Atonement of the Lord, eventual resurrection is a reality and eternal life is a possibility for all humankind. That possibility becomes a reality as we obey God’s law. He said, “Except ye shall keep my commandments, … ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.” One day we will be judged by the Lord and go to our own mansion prepared in our Father’s heavenly house. Celestial glory awaits those who have been faithful to God’s gentle commands.

Brothers and sisters, we live to die and we die to live—in another realm. If we are well prepared, death brings no terror. From an eternal perspective, death is premature only for those who are not prepared to meet God.

Now is the time to prepare. Then, when death comes, we can move toward the celestial glory that Heavenly Father has prepared for His faithful children. Meanwhile, for sorrowing loved ones left behind—such as our family and me—the sting of death is soothed by a steadfast faith in Christ, a perfect brightness of hope, a love of God and of all men, and a deep desire to serve them. That faith, that hope, that love will qualify us to come into God’s holy presence and, with our eternal companions and families, dwell with Him forever. Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Batman Acts 1/4-1/10

I've decided in order to feel like I'm actually doing things that are out of my ordinary, I thought I'd write about each "Batman" act that I've done this week in order to help me overcome my fears. I know this is probably going to get a little tedious to read every week, but this is my blog and not yours :) Hahah.

Sunday, January 4th:
Being the shy girl I am, I have only stood up in young women's ONCE and bore my testimony to the girls. This year, I decided I need to be more accountable for my behavior, and that I needed to tell the girls how I was feeling. After 3 very moving testimonies by some of my favorite girls, the moment seemed perfect. I got up in front of everyone and immediately started to cry. I didn't bear my testimony, but I said that I have been feeling very regretful for not being at the activities last year as much as I should have, and that I plan to come more this year, AND that I am there for all the girls whenever they need someone.

Tuesday, January 6th:
I had to present something in one of my classes, and I actually volunteered to go 3rd. I was so excited to get the thing overwith that I wasn't even that nervous or embarassed. It felt good.

Thursday, January 8th:
My teacher is in charge of this school run program called Rennisance. This is a program that rewards the students who do well in their studies in school, and who also has good citizenship throughout the school as well. She was asking for people who'd be interested in joining the committee who would plan the activites and execute them. I signed up to be on it, and hopefully I am put on it.

Saturday, January 10th:
Youth activity, and since I'm on the committee that plans out the stake activities, I had a meeting. I was asked to give a prayer, in front of everyone who was at the meeting. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. I usually hate giving prayers in front of people, I just get my words mixed up and feel embarassed. It has nothing to do with praying, it has to do with me--I'm always trying to show up late to mutual so I never have to give a prayer, pathetic! I'm going to work on that. Another "Batman" act I did on Saturday was being in a skit in front of 100+ people, which was part of the youth activity. I didn't have a speaking role, but I was an extra and still had an important role (it was a skit talking about the 3 Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, and I was the house who got blown over. I even had to fall down on the stage!) As silly as that may sound, this was a HUGE step for me--to volunteer to put myself up in front of everyone.

I know these aren't exactly the most major things that I can do, but to me, each and every one of these things is helping me slowly overcome my fear of public speaking. I am so thankful that God is there helping me along the way, along with every single one of you who is there for me. Thank you.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Stuck no more!

I use to feel stuck in a box, like my kittens had been when my brother put them in. They were unable to get out because the box was too steep and they're too fat to get out without our help. Because we own them, I felt it was my responsibility to help them out--to pull them out of the box.

Lately, I've felt stuck in the box myself, just waiting for someone to come pull me out.

I've been stressed about school, being a better friend, attending more youth-y activities so I'm closer to the kids (I felt a HUGE amount of regret after Megan died because I felt I didn't be there enough.) I was feeling lonely, emotionally. I'm feeling a bit under the weather too. I feel like a loser because I don't have a job (yet) and I don't have my licence (another yet). The list of imperfections in my life could go on and on....

Seminary yesterday really hit me while watching a video on Christ. I realized that even though I'M having emotional issues right now, CHRIST went through not only MY issues, but yours and EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHOSE EVER LIVED. I have no idea HOW on earth he was able to do makes me feel comforted from it too.

I'm able to say I'm almost out of my emotional box, with the help of God, my family, and a few people who will remain anonymous (but you know who you are.) I am so very, very, VERY thankful for you guys. I'd be lost without you all. I love you all so very much. Thank you!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Batman's Bravery

Batman, a character who we all have become familiar with. With his extremely ripped body and nice suit, Batman helps clean up the schmuck that keeps corrupting Gotham City.

A new year has creeped up upon everyone, and consequently that means resolutions are going to be set. I still am trying to figure out what I'd like to change about myself or accomplish this year, but for sure one resolution I have for this year is to become like Batman. "Oh Aubrey, why would you want to become a fictional character this year?" is probably what is going through your head right about now, but first, gimme a chance to explain.

When Batman (Bruce Wayne in the daylight) was a young boy, he was terribly afraid of bats. As the years went on, he learned to overcome his fears and use them to help the people out in Gotham City. He wanted to help make Gotham a better place by destroying all forms of evil. It is pretty neat that he was able to be this super crime fighting machine, and even got his nickname from the thing he was scared of: bats.

When I say I'd like to be more like Batman this year, I mean I would like to overcome my fears and use them for the greater good of humanity, or for the greater good of myself/family/friends/etc. I won't be ripped, or be able to take apart a shotgun with my bare hands, but I would like to be able to overcome my fears that hold me back from many, many great things.

For example, I need to not be so afraid to speak in front of large groups of people. I'm extremely bad at this! It debilitates me to where the point I have breakdowns and refuse to do it. I sometimes I avoid situations where I know I would probably have to speak in front of people I don't know very well. Now that I am on two committees (Stake Youth Committee for church, and then another committee at school), I need to overcome this. I know I'll be plunged into speaking in some way, so it'd be easier to deal with if I wasn't terrified of doing it.

There are other fears I'd love to overcome, and I know that I can if I rely on God to help me. Hopefully by next year, I'll be able to say I'm not as afraid of speaking in public--oh how great that'd be! My hope for everyone this year is to become like Batman by overcoming one of their biggest debilitating fears and use it to help out others. Happy new year!